| Reflection
High school has been quite an adventurous ride. My four years of high school life encompasses struggles, mixed emotions, experiences, and self growth. I found out about ¡°high school drama¡±, dances that require a person to spend at least $100, and most of seniorities at the tender age of 15. High school has definitely been a time of self maturity, and learning. I did not only learn about school subjects, but human relations, definition of real struggle and pain, and the human psyche.
I remember in the eighth grade being a bit scared about coming to high school, fearing the toughness and seriousness of high school. The funny thing is, when high school came around, it wasn¡¯t that bad. I was able to adjust to high school very well with a help from the popularity of my sister who was senior at the time. I had a lot of people looking after me and felt very secure at school. I felt so comfortable to a point where I just came to school just for the sake of coming. My grades weren¡¯t as great and I started to slack off quiet often. So with bad grades, I wasn¡¯t able to get into advance classes. As my sophomore year, I had to the same laid back attitude about school, so my grades stayed the same, bad. Then a tragedy struck in my house that changed my views, and thought of life. A year after my grandmother¡¯s death, my grandfather became ill because of the depression he had received from her death. He was in a really bad condition, so my parents decided to sell the house and leave the states. Before they left, they gave me a choice to stay in the states with a friend or to go to Korea with them. So after praying, pondering, and contemplating for two weeks, I told them that I would stay in the states with the friend¡¯s family.
When I moved into this family, there wasn¡¯t any sign of awkwardness. Instead of awkwardness, they opened their arms to me and treated me with utmost respect. I had a fine time with the family; however I had a hard time within myself. After few weeks, I started to feel desperately lonely. I started to feel unwanted by people around me. Also without my parents to remind me of my school work and other academics like the SATs, my grades dropped even more and my score went down dramatically. So the depression from the loneliness and my diminishing academic skills made me feel like a failure. As I entered the most important year of my high school life, I was a mess. Filled with self doubt, I slept many hours and spent a lot my time playing games on the computer. Instead of thinking about the future and what I could do differently to move forward, I gave up on life and I had a very negative view about life. After 10 months of self struggle, my mother came back to get me back into shape. It took a while to gain enough self esteem that I had once lost; however by the middle of the first semester of my senior year, I was able to get back up and take life more seriously and study more.
People say that I realized about the seriousness about life too late in life. However I have to disagree. There are people in this world who never mature and realize the seriousness of life. However, I did at least mature and learned something. I can¡¯t deny the fact that if I could do it again, I would. If I could relive the four years of high school, I definitely would and I would do all of the things I didn¡¯t do before. For example, I would take academics, friendship, and life more seriously. However, the truth is, the time has already gone by, and I could only learn from the mistakes of my past. So instead of sulking and regretting about my past, I¡¯ m working hard for tomorrow so that I don¡¯t have to regret ever again.
This is an essay I wrote for my English class. It kind of sums up my high school life I guess. haha.
Its finally done....CLASS OF 2005!!! YEEEAAAH!!! THANKS FOR ALL THE MEMORIES GUYS!! I WILL DEFINITLY MISS YOU ALL!!
P.S: Don't forget about me~! hahaa |
